We had a whirlwind 24 hours in SA while Russell received his final iron infusion. We were not able to see the orthopedic surgeon at this visit due to time conflicts, so we will go back in a couple of weeks to see him. We didn't actually see the oncologist at this visit either, but did get all our orders for next month when they will, for the 2nd of many times post-treatment, do scans. He will also get his Zometa at that visit, a drug that helps strengthen his bones. Caleigh sees the neurologist at that time as well to evaluate the new medication. So far, so good with that. Thank you Lord!
I tend to hyperventilate when I think about having to miss 1 1/2 days of school on the first week back, but this is our new normal. It will only be every 9 weeks, so it will have to be okay. God has blessed me with a very sweet, kind teaching partner next year who has already said that it will be fine. I still have so many conflicting feelings about the way last year went, but at the end of the day, all I can say is that you do what you have to do. I am a people pleaser, peacemaker by nature but sometimes things just don't go smoothly. I have read so many validating things about caregiving/cancer and I KNOW that I have done the best that I could. For people who "don't understand" to understand, they would have to experience what we experienced and I don't wish that on anyone. Can you tell that I still have some unresolved issues? All I know to do is keep praying that I can find the peace I need, forgive those who inflicted extra pain on me during a crisis that already hurt, and move on.
When I write my book on Surviving Life as I Know It, I will have a chapter on the month of May 2009 for sure. Enough for now.
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