Fully Trusting

I was talking to Michelle last night (before I ordered her phone OFF!) and discussing the roller coaster ride that is our life right now. We talked about how amazing it was that Milissa came off the ventilator, and how she physically looks better today. Then Michelle mentioned that the doctor took her (and my parents) aside last night and discussed the situation. She mentioned possibly having to intubate Milissa again and how close they came to having to completely paralyze her on Tuesday...and that it isn't out of the picture. I know the conversation was necessary to keep them informed and thinking realistically, and I know that the doctor sees things from a different perspective than we do. That being said, I just wish we could level off for awhile. If I never see the words "Call me as soon as you get this" on a text again, it will be a good thing. Hate those words. When I think about the sheer number of people praying for my sweet sister and for our family, when I think about how God has answered those prayers one by one, my heart overflows. Why do I want Him to do things differently? He is capable of totally healing her in one fell swoop, so to speak, but He is choosing to bring her two steps forward, one step back. I need to be okay with that. I need to be fully trusting. Why is this so difficult for me?