A Choice

This post is from the heart. Not academic...not beautifully poetic...not even remotely profound by the world's standards. But straight from my heart.

Events of the past few weeks have brought me to this point--and I write to release. Well, to document the happenings of our family...but definitely to release as well. I have come to realize that I have been waiting in vain. For what? Peace? Healing? Understanding? Normalcy? Happiness? I'm really not sure. But driving to Seguin tonight, by myself, I had that moment that if we are honest, all have had. "What? What do you want me to do? I'm listening." And nothing happened. What did I expect? An instantaneous answer? Thunder? I kept driving. I met Regina and Steve, got the kids. The kids wanted to go to dinner and tell me about their weekend. I listened, we laughed. As we got in the car the mood changed. I think that all three of us immediately felt the pressures of the coming week...projects, deadlines, work, problems, unrest...it all came crashing in on us. That's when my answer came, maybe just a little piece of the answer. But my mouth opened, and this came out. "Hey, guys...listen to me. We all have jobs to do this week. We all have things that we are responsible for. But we can make a choice. Right now. We can decide not to let ANYTHING steal our joy." Quiet in the car. And then, "Hey, you're right Mom." Who doesn't love to hear THOSE words? A great discussion followed. About grades--we want you guys to do your best, but you know...eternity is NOT based on grades! About friendship difficulties--friends are important, and it may mean making tough choices, but even friends are NOT allowed to steal our joy! About work--when I took this job it came with a promise, unspoken and nowhere to be found in my contract, but a promise to do MY BEST for the children I teach...but my job WILL NOT and CANNOT steal my joy! We are going to get up each morning and do our best to meet our earthly commitments. But we are choosing at the end of the day to be happy--to get plenty of rest, to do things together that make us happy, to live to honor the ONLY ONE who really matters. Life in this world is fleeting...so very transient. The passing of my friend Alex was a painful reminder of that this weekend. I sent a quote to Alex by facebook message a while back. He responded with this message: "Hey...I love the quote. And Saundra, I LOVE YOU!" Life is just too short for things that don't matter. Choose joy.